emptiness
hyay...i'm back!
and in pink now!
yeah..syukur syukur!
umm..well there's nothing much going on in my life these past few days..
i just sleep..eat my medicines..enjoy the rain..
inhale the fresh air..hmmm! yummy!!
but..i had a dream about ghost last night,
it was scary..!!
and when i woke up..
i made scrambled eggs while making up my room
does anyone did that?
well i do..
and the egg taste Oh My God!!
horrible!!
i wasnt born to be in the kitchen i guess
and now..i just dont know wut else to do..
what tv shows to watch..
and did kbs rescheduling their programme again?
hurghh..!
or am i the last one who knows about it?
oh whatever
i just missed pretty boys n girls..
ok crap!
u got me!
i dont know wut else to write..but i just want to blog
k..logging off!
oh...GOD. eyes on uuuuu!!!
hey man!
yes, i mean..u! heeee..
the handsome one sitting righttt there..yahhh!
i'm sorry but..
u're so handsome that i cant stop staring at u
u're laughing with your friends..and i was laughing all by myself
u stared at the ugly girl..but i dont hate u for that
you're a man after all..there's nothing i can say about that
u kinda like that girl..and i get jealous of her
even if she's pretty..i'll still call her ugly no matter wut.
huu..i know i'm kinda fat now..
but in case u're wondering..
i think i can lose weight if i stay with u coz i get full by staring at you.
but then again..
u're too handsome for me
u're so talkative..which sometimes i think it can be annoying
u're tall..and i'm short
so..i'm sorry
u're not for me..
i'm wasnt born to make u happy
but..
thank you for being my sunshine of the day
even though the sky seems gloomy..
u've add diamonds to it.
my made my day today
thank you!
heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.........
i cant stop smiling!
this isnt happen to me for a longgg time already
Labels: fallen angel, vacation
spm spm spm
Alhamdulillah..
thank u Allah..
U've been good to me most of the time..
but i've been bad to you almost all the time..
huuu...
even though i'm still hardly awake bcoz i know..
i dont really study so hard but u gave me
a result as if i studied around the clock..
but promise is a promise after all
i owed u 14days of fasting before this..
now it became 24days
and i'm a girl with my words..
and so..once again
syukur sgt sgt
no one knows how nervous i was on that day
and how sad it was without my mother beside me at that time
but now..she's back, and i'm soooo gladdd
Labels: result spm
nothing compares to u
in another 3 days, spm's result shall be unveilbut..i dont know!
i just feel like i dont want to know it yet..
not without my parents by my side
huu..
but wut to do?
if it's about my father's safety and health care that we're arguing about,
then..i'll back off.
but then again..it surely wouldnt be the same without u next to me that historic day..
after all..it was dedicated to both of you
if it's good..i hope u like it
i hope u'd give me a hug for that
and say "thank u" over n over again, like u used to
but if it's bad..
i know u'll be the person to comfort me and say
"it's okay..dont cry. u got a long journey waiting for u"
no matter what it is..
i just want u to be the first person to know it
i just want to see ur reaction.
is it good? is it bad?
but ..i think i was being too emotional now that u wont be there with me on that day.
my sister told me that u've over-spoiled me..and that i'm weak
and i know it's quite true.
i cant stand on my own
i guessed no one understands me right now..
but it's okay!
i always tell u i'm fine with it..i can go alone,
but the truth is..i'm not and i need u.
huu
it wouldnt be d same if it wasnt u who's with me for the event
even if it's my own auntie..but it wasnt u!!
and..i just want u!!!
right now...i just hate thinking of spm
i gave up
i wished i was braver to confront all this
huuu
Labels: countdown to spm
hey watcha doin
hmmm...
i miss my bestfriends..
i miss my girlfriends..
huuu..i want to hug each n every one of them
but i wonder how it feels like to miss a boyfriend,
is it great?
speaking of which, it's not like i can get a boyfriend at this moment
hell no..my parents surely will freak out,
in a negative way obviously
and i remembered my friends said they couldnt imagine me having a boyfriend
well..i couldnt agree more!
i'm curios for it too!
would it be weird..
would it be just typical..
would it be sweet..
arghh..what would it BE??
oh..just let it be!
but there's a person said i was too shy when it comes to boys
well..i think she doesnt know me well yet
hell no..i'm not shy of them,
why would i?
i'm just being careful not to fall in love with them.
or at least with their lies..
especially with handsome guy...surely melts my heart
and there's only one man i trust..it's my dad
yeah..i know i know!
wut a typical sentence for a typical girl
duhh..!
but..is it real that men are the hero when it comes to lying?
i mean..women cheated too!
do men get jealous of nothing?
hmm..women are good in jealousy too
and do men got big fat ego?
well..i do!
so..i chose not to believe wut public said.
it's not always right..but not always wrong
just follow your heart right?
ohhh..
if only i have the power of love...i would
teehee..no!
i mean,
if only i could turn back the time
aqua's song...
If only I could turn back time
If only I had said what I still hide
If only I could turn back time
I would stay for the night. For the night...
i'll stay for the night not making love with someone..hell no!
i'll stay for the night to haha..study!
make sense eyh?
23rd march..please be good to me? will u?
wait a sec, i wonder wut everyone's doing right now..
are they performing solat hajat?
mengaji quran? or make time to repent??
ohhhhhhh God!!
Labels: average joe, bestfriend, countdown to spm, girls stuff
back to december
here i am again tonight!!
posting another entry...huu
getting bored of me??
hwaa..please dont!
coz i'm already bored with myself!
omg..i dont know wut happened to me but,
has anyone else out there ever thinking of commit suicide or..
hmm just anything like that?
well frankly speaking, i have..
i know i know...as a muslim, it's a big sin!
wait no! not only for muslim..
but in any religion..committing suicidal is a big NO
it happened when i was about to take SPM exam last year..
at that moment..there're all sorts of wishes running through my head
they're like
"i wish i'd appreciate the time"
"i wish i have one more month"
"i wish i could survive w/o sleeping"
and lastly...
"i wish i would die"
wait..i just thought of doing it, but done no action to make it happen
urmm..but it sounds crazy right?
and..right now, i'd rather take another SPM than
knowing wut my result will turn up to be, seriously!!
bcoz next week is wayyy scarier from wut i've confronted last year.
hwaaa...i feel like singing Taylor Swift's song-back to december to everyone asking me about spm result..!!
will u people stop asking me that question?
as if it was your business..
as if it is related to you..
as if it was YOURS!
no...i mean,
what if i got a bad result?
what if it'll break my parents' feeling?
will it be a major shame?
will my sisters laugh at me for my idiocy?
will my relatives be talking behind my back?
will people throw their respect on me?
and will my parents say that i took it for granted?
what if i wont be like any of my siblings?
will i be alienated then?
or hwaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...!!!
i just dont want to face the truth
and i'm not even 18 yet..isnt it too young for me to handle it?
this is so unfair..
but that's wut life is...right?
so wut do u expect...
Labels: boring, countdown to spm
it takes time to realise
umm..yahh
do i need to explain more?!
i dont have billions of friends
and people said i'm an arrogant girl
well..i think i am too
but i'd rather be an arrogant person than being a gedik girl..
who laughs here and there
skinship with strangers
talks nothing but rubbish
and..
thirst for public attention
isnt that an absolute no doubt eyesore?
well for me, it isss...!!
oh wait..!
i'm sorry, i'm actually bored right now
and..there's something weird hit me these few days
i got some nightmares...huuu
i hardly put my head on d pillow
i want to cry so hard but my tears gland shouting of emptiness
i dont have proper sleeping time anymore
and my eye bags are the last thing u want to see
and wut makes it more painful is...
huuuuuuu
never mind..
it's a personal thing
can i just escape to any waterfalls?
please....!!!
Labels: boring, countdown to spm
your eyes tell just everything
umm...right now there's quite a crowd at my house
and i'm right here, trying to post my entry
quite rude eyh? yeah i know..
but i just dont get along with them well.. (eventhough they're my cousins)
just shake hands..smile..and ummm, what else?? nothing!
i dunno wut to talk about..wut to laugh about or simply just wut to gossip about
they're all late 20's and early 30's..so wut do u expect?
and yes..they're all married couples
and one thing i dislike is that...
their first sight at me which is..that up-and-down staring,
and..weird expression
huaaaaaaa...
i know larr!!
my body is too HOT...too BIG unlike yours yang quite kurus kering
hwaaa...wut to do?
babe..u have to have that type of body for the sake of my cousins right?
after all..this is my body which i'll be carrying all my way
kenapa? dengki eyh??!!
huaaa...i know u takkan pernah dengki pon!
huuuuuuu...
ok laa!
till then..thank u my blog sbb dgr rintihan hati yg lara nih
ilove u my blog!
night night..
umm...8 more days to d' u-know-what day?
ok..i'll just die
bye
Labels: countdown to spm, sadness
true colour
i'm sorry i dont know how it feels like to be lied by a man i lovei'm sorry i dont know the feeling of being hugged by a soulmate
i'm sorry i havent been in a serious relationship before
i'm sorry i have no idea how to kiss
i'm sorry i dont hangout at night with anyone
i'm sorry i havent been in a pub and dont know how to dance my heart out
i'm sorry i dont know how to be gedik2 in front of guys
i'm sorry i cant hide my feelings
i'm sorry i closed my heart towards men for a longgg time
i'm sorry i hate playboys
i'm sorry i got envy with beautiful girls
i'm sorry i dont have an hour glass body
i'm sorry i love spending time doing nothing
i'm sorry my face is too mature
i'm sorry i'm so much like a hermit
i'm sorry i dont smile so often
i'm sorry i dont know to put the words
i'm sorry my words dont come easily
i'm sorry i dont know how to cheer up a person
i'm sorry i was being too arrogant
i'm sorry i get bored easily
i'm sorry i love the smell of lavender
i'm sorry i'm obsessed with bad foods
i'm sorry i dont put my trust on people easily
hmm..wait a second
u know what...just dont forgive me.
that's just wut i really am..and always be
these are my true colours..
take it or leave it
and one thing i've just knew tonight is that
those movers and shakers of the new economy are school dropouts!!
they're Bill Gates, Larry Ellison and Richard Branson, just to name few
wow...i'm shocked!
oh my...this shows how i'm so lack of general acknowledgement.
duhhh...mimi, there u go lazy girl!
and from this i learnt that academic success and intelligence are not only the things need to be focus..
in reality..there're more than that
focus on the road
day 4
dear blog..
it was my first time driving and fuhhh...
i felt so sorry for my tutor bcoz the car keep stopping almost everytime i'm about to drive.
i know how he felt..definitely very angry about that.
and i as a driver also angry at myself for that!
i didnt mean to keep repeating the same mistakes but wut to do?!
this is my first time..plus, i'm not a genius
and everytime he asked me something personal,
i lost control of the car.
i just cant give my focus on the road when i talked.
and one more thing..i was distracted by the other students to see how well their performances were..
i mean...i dont want to be the worst one!
but by keep doing that..my performance became worse.
good job mimi!
u've never disappoint yourself at putting a scum on your face!
and today's session also make me realised that i'm a short person!!
huuuu...i'm so sad about that.
my tutor asked me to adjust my seat according to my comfort,
he told me to move in front a bit more..
but sadly, there's no more!
so how am i able to move more pok cik?
fortunately i dont need any supporters like seat back cushion coz it was definitely an embarrassment.
maybe my legs elongate itself to help its moron owner..
but thank u my legs coz u're my best support system at this moment..
i need u both to finish off this lesson
so please be good to me
and now it's 4pm.. time for bed!
but oh damn!that MOMENT OF TRUTH is nearly arriving!
huuuu..
can i not attend to it?
Labels: countdown to spm, driving academy, raining
bored bored bored
my oh my!!today is sooooo boring!!
i woke up at 6.50am - mandi - dressup - called my driving tutor
but no one answered..hell great!
then..he sms-ed me and cancelled today's session coz kotaraya was flooded with rain water
OH MAN! OH GREAT!! damn it!
it felt as if someone threw a scumbag on my face
i didnt mean to be so mean..but arghhhhhhhhhhh!!!
kenapa baru nk inform??!!
is it so hard to sms me bout that last night?
hwaaa..
but forget about it...
i hate that part!
and now..the whole day
i've been in front of the laptop, logging in my facebook..
and same goes to my blog
but...there's no updates
NOTHING!
ohh wut a great day i got today
i mean..is there any major problems that i missed, (apart from tsunami in Japan)
and so i just listened to some old songs..
played some old games..
watch the same movie..
browsing the same pictures
which is BEYOND BORING!
huuu..
k till then
it's time to pen off since there's absolutely nothing to do
Labels: countdown to spm, mean girl, raining, sadness
the knot
it's saturday today..
and it was raining all day
wait.. that's not a worse thing!
i love rainy days but...
little did i know that the pain i slightly felt last night became WORSE today
huuu..it was my first time having a toothache
and u know wut, IT HURTS A LOT!
probably bcoz i ate too much..and ahemm, gained a lot
so i still dunno which food contributed to my badly toothache
huu..
ok..lets not talk about the pain
i'm almost fully recovered now thanks to the brilliant medicines
the reason of this entry is to talk about..
A WEDDING!
yeah i cant wait for my sister to tie the knot..
but sadly, she said i've to wait another 4 years
which i'll turn 22 by that time
many people by her age, 25..
has already tied the knot, then got buns in the oven and gave birth!
but for us..28, 29 or even 30's is the best time to get married
for some..maybe it was too late!
but i mean..we should enjoy our time as a bachelorette
make enough fortune for life
and simply enjoy our life to the max!
and then..settle the marriage thing
but..!
most of my cousins seem to get married umm..quite early
sampai umo 25, MESTI kawen!
and today, my cousin got married at 26
which is quite late for his family..
weird isnt it?
i dont really enjoy the wedding..
it was raining like crazy
my baju kurung is washed down by the rain
my tudung drove me insane
and..there werent enough chairs!!
urghh!!
but..the best part is
i met my angels..!!
yay!
and introducing my boyfriend
seriously..i just want him!
tak nak yang lain!
and this ugly lady turned to be uglier thanks to the "PERFECT" weather.
i felt so sorry for the japanese victims who suffered the lost and devastation
from the tsunami that hit Japan yesterday
i can only pray for the best for them
please stay calm and be patient coz there must be a silver lining behind all this
insyaAllah
Labels: raining, tsunami, wedding
toink toink..recess!
day 3
i'm not here complaining about my driving tutor
but..one thing for sure
he loves making me waiting for him.
huuuuuuuu...and i really hate waiting!
and i know i always make people wait for me,
sorry sorry sorry!
so..padan la muka i!
but today is a lottt better than yesterday
i make 4 new friends..and
ahemm! finally i shamelessly broke the ice.
and i met 5 of my school friends
2 of them..yg mase primary school
and 3 of them from secondary school (gee, mina and xigt name)
i just talked with my secondary school's friends sbb yg primary school's
friends tu dah xtau nk borak ape!
i brought a magazine, novel and a sketch book
but..didnt get a chance to pay attention to them for today
and one thing that i noticed,
my bag is bigger than anyone else...
huuuu..malunye!
and since my driving tutor picked me up quite late this morning
i spent the time cooking scrambled eggs and siap bwk bekal lagi!
my scrambled eggs is wayyyy tastier than the food at "canteen"
and yay!
for tomorrow and until this saturday
i'll be enjoying my time not going to kotaraya for i'll be at kedah
and on saturday, my cousin will be getting married
auwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!
kawenn...! bestnye!!
but no mimi..
sadly it's not your wedding!
humm..k till then
it's raining all day today
and rain means...TIDO!
hyayy!! tapi kena la solat dulu
klu x, confirm terbabas pulak!
and thank you farah nina for making my day A LOTTTT better!
I LOVE YOU!!!
muahhhh!!
oh ya!
since when did miss no good appears in 8tv
and i didnt know about it!
huuu...tu la, bgun lewat sgt and u missed it!
Labels: driving academy, raining
may i know why
why??!!
is there something wrong with me?something that i cant see, but reflected clearly to others?
am i too unattractive or somekind like that?
or do people find me as an annoying girl?
a girl with extreme level of arrogance?
the same one who look like a bitch or alien?
do most people think of me in that way?
perhaps they did!
and yes i admit..i hardly smile to strangers
when i'm alone in public..i never smile and simply be mute
but THAT doesnt mean I AM ARROGANT!
maybe my facial expression is too hoity toity?
the way i walk...maybe it's too arrogant for public
and when i do my job...people say i get too serious with it
and it reflects my arrogance..
yes..i've once said i dont care of the people's judgement on me
but no..sometimes i cant help it
i NEED to concern about it!
yes i want to break the ice..but no one seems to care
and with that..people simply judge me as an arrogant girl
blogging is wayyy more fun even though i'm only monologue like a mad girl
it puts a question mark when there's a person
approaching another person sitting beside me,
and asking about me! (did u get wut i tried to say)
i mean..WHAT THE HELL?? (i'm here in front of u, idiot!)
why cant just ask me directly?
it happens several times
and i feel like running into the woods, be all alone
and just cry with all my heart
i admit that there's not many people who i put on my trust
i dont trust a person in a blink of an eye..it really took time for me to do that
maybe a year..or two, maybe?
especially when it comes to general knowledge,
i hardly trust wut people said
i've to go home..do some research, study
and if it was a fact she/he talked just now, only then i trusted it
but that doesnt mean i trust the person
williaw shakespear once said, " love all, trust a few, do wrong to none"
and that's wut i believed until now, and always will.
but still..why?
what are the first thought that people gave to me instead of an arrogant girl?
am i an alien?
i'm not saying i dont care bcoz i do.. REALLY care about it!
Labels: average joe, sadness
hueeeeeeeee
hello...this is another trash post
day 2..
yay..finally the undang-undang exam has finished (an awkward sentence, i know!)
and alhamdulillah i didnt failed
huuu..it felt so good passing the exam coz i dont have to sleep with that kpp book anymore!
yay for me!
and today is better than d 1st day.
i dont have to go the d canteen which is actually a kedai kopi.
i dont have to spend my time in musalla ALONE..
and neither do i have to be mute anymore!
i just have to revise..go to d exam place and sit for d exam
take d result..and go home!
then..turn on the laptop, eat, watch tv
and thats it! what a heavenly situation..
but on the other side..
i met another girl..kinda sweet and kind
thanks to her i now can open my mouth and produce sounds
okay..i think thats it for today
i should sleep now..
oh ya!thanks to this white blouse, for making my day a lot better than the other day
i know, i know..i look so ugly!
acne scars..oily skin..eye bags..
huuuuu..i am so dont care about it
now that i'm drowsy..and the bed is calling me
i think it's time for logging off
Labels: driving academy
BUSY KEPALA HOTAK
what's wrong with u mimi??
everything was done at eleventh hour,
aishh what a bad and irresistible habits u got!
but thanks to my nagging machine parents and a warm hearted doctor
i can now sleep with a smile on my face
ni semua psal matrikulasi tu la!
i knew bout this thing when they first announced it in the paper
but then..i kept telling myself, "it's okay..still got plenty of time"
and so i played around..wasting my time
and when i read that its deadline is tomolow..
a bundle of nerves hit me (yeah amik kau..!)
so i told my parents - got to go to the clinic to check my blood group
they asked me to get ready...and they seemed a lot nervous (relax laa mama)
but i refused- no..i'm too lazy to go to d clinic at night
and so today, mom brought me for the check up
of course she cant stop nagging on me, same goes to my father
the doctor also told me to be more serious, in a gentle way of course
but thanks to him..everything is settled down within a hour.
big thanks to Dr Fatah.
grasias! u're the best
okay..
i know..i'm sorry!
i wont take things for granted anymore!
tadi mmg jammed..tpi skrg dh okay
i thought it hurt a lot but no..
big girl can handle it
and i'm a A+ type of blood..
A+??!!
hwaaa...how i need 10A+!
but Shontelle's song- impossible, echos in my ears.
urghhh!!!
heebie jeebies
day 1..
GREAT job mimi!
well done..!
it all went well thanks to your dumbness!
i thought there wont be so many people today
but no!
i've to swallow my own words
there were crowds of people
and i've to stretch my ears..keep my eyes open
bcoz i was too CLEVER and chose the very front seat.
hell yeah
it was like....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
i was screaming from the top of my lung..but no one heard it!
so mimi..serves ur right!
the food was yukss..for me
and the drinks caused nausea
okay2..i know i sound like a bitch and etc
but mama~~
i dont want to go back there AGAIN!
no!!!!!!!!!
hwaaa..
no friends..no delicious foods
no pillows..no no no!
not even a handsome guy
huuuu
and now i suffered dizziness..extreme exhaustion and
of course, drowsiness.
now STUDY mimi..!
huurghh!
Labels: countdown to spm, driving academy
yes..no..urmm
yup, another boring day!
then tomorrow shall be friday..
which i've to wake up early in the morning,
go to Kotaraya bla bla bla
and my parents shall seal their mouths and stop nagging on me.
but u know what?
i dont hate it when they nag, bcoz i know..one day, i'll miss those moments
soon, my parents would stop nagging on me
coz they realised i'm a big girl already
and i can handle everything on my own. (which i'm afraid i cant)
and yesterday..oh yesterday
i dont like yesterday!
both of my parents are under the weather
the house seemed gloomy...
no fun..and no laughters
and thank God, today they're already in pink!
ohh..
my cousin will held his wedding solemnization soon
and..i cant wait for it!
my mom said his wife is pretty!
ma..
when it's my time to tie the knot,
can i wear something like flower on the head instead of tiara?
heee..i was enchanted by it!
i dont know what it is called..but i love it!
and..
i shall spend a fortune for a vera wang wedding dress..
hey..it's a once in a lifetime event
so..this is the best time to spend those pennies.
isnt it right?
humm..
ok till then,
i've something to catch up on tv!
oh god..is it really 23rd of march, spm's results?
coz if it is..then fuhhh, i still got time to enjoy my life!
Labels: average joe, countdown to spm
mature enough?
who? me?
humm..let me think!
i dont get really mad like i used to be when syahir and irah turned my room upside down.
maybe it was a wake up call that i've to make up my MESSY DIRTY room
well..last time i did it was in January,
so it's already March! huuu..bring me the vacuum cleaner please!
ohh..i also enjoyed watching Julia n Julie...like an older woman enjoys it
it's a great movie! or maybe not?!
well..i know i like it.
now i prefer watching learning packages rather than disney channel.
i know..i know, mama!
i should've watch em long time ago...
but..my love for Phineas n Ferb still didnt fades away.
tpi rmai yang xsuka tgk that cartoon..but i still find it interesting!
okay who cares? masing2 punye taste kan
i rarely..very2 rarely let my hair down
yeah..i'm not confident with them
they're quite thick and not silky like every girls own
so i just put on ponytail or bun..
and yup i know!
in America or just overseas..people tied up their hair only during their bad hair days
or when they dont have time to wash them.
but please laa..i wash n condition mine every other day.
i hate seeing people acting cute when they arent!
i know..elder people hate this.
most of the teens like me..always trying to act cute, this and that bla bla bla
i used to be like one..but hell yeah i know..FAILED!
but the other day..i saw this girl with a typical look, tried to be cute and overdone it
and the outcome was..perhaps monstrosity?!
last week i took a look in my closet
searching for a "sopan" shirt..but hardly found any
most of them are like..too short, too tide
i think it's time for me to put on something different
something more sophisticated, maybe?!
i know..this post is another trash!
i'm sorry my blog...
but i dont have any idea on wut to write.
i just think..i NEED to post an entry
but..my brain is so sluggish to think of a topic.
well anyway..it's already March rite?
wow..so soon!
wait..MARCH??!!
results?? march?? results?? spm??
2010?? 10 subjects??
EST??
BIOLOGY??
CHEMISTRY??
PHYSIC??
MIMI?? ready for the moment of truth??
no!! never!! nightmare!
umm..bye! i might have to take some anti stress pill!
i think my heart is working harder than ever..
and my blood pressure is getting elevated..
an adrenaline rush just occured
mama.............!!
i'm not ready to face it!
please..!!
can i not be there?
can March just get out of my life?!
please..let a miracle happen!
please..i'm begging You!
Labels: average joe
just a girl named mimie yahaya. i'm not good at describing myself...trust me. i can be a very antisocial person but i can be loud too, when i'm with the person i love. will turn 19 soon..and i wish i can always be mommy's little angel, daddy's little girl. i love bieber n 1D. that's all...
