i dont like the fact that i dont care anymore
i dont like it that i'm lazy and wasting time
lets be better.

you..
are a poison to my heart,
but at the same time,
being a beautiful poison that lighten up my soul.
you destroyed my wall
you bend my ego
but i tried my very best to put it back together

you
came into my mind and my life
reluctant to leave and say goodbye
u increase the blood flow inside my brain
u increase the endorphine and the adrenaline
and i'm feeling euphoric.
but at the same time being mad
at myself
God, i shouldnt be feeling this way
coz this just feel so wrong.

and you
distract me from what i'm supposed to do
forcing me to keep my eyes on you
but at the same time trying my very best not to tell u
and give u false hope
when deep down, there's a fireworks inside me.

as much as i hated it this way
i cant help but feeling secured when u're around
and how u make me feel as if i'm guarded
even if u're not trying to
deep down i feel safe to call you home

but you
please know that i dont like it this way
please know that my heart is ill as of now
please stay away from me i just want to forget about you
please come back one day when i'm all set for you

and as for now
i'll try my very best to hide from you
to ignore you
and my feelings too
to let go of you and pray for you
even if we're not meant to
coz thats all i'm afford to do

so you
take a good care of yourself
and i'm sorry if i have ever hurt you
please know that i didnt meant to

there i was.

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