US...finally!
big thanks and hug to u guys for the quality time together.
i didnt know that we can still crazy like the old days...
ahhh...love for the fact the neither of us r having any drastic changes n we're still the old us!
once again..muah! muah!

i felt so sorry for mizah regarding the minor accident with the tree.
huuu...i should've looked at the back of the car before she reversed her car.
whatever it is...the lesson has been learned.
there's a limit in everything we do...and next time, let's have fun wisely.





and this is what i found in the library that day.
sweet yaww..btw, it was a long poem but i just snapped a part of it.
ok...that's all!
have a nice day...

and this is the messy black forest cake made by my sister...looks quite awful but taste yumm!


and these are the  popsicles made by me!
awww yeah...me!
and it taste quite awesome too..
haha..x kesah lah angkat bakul sendiri pon!





till then..adioss amigos!

i was at the mall this evening where i heard a ramadhan song played as i was passing by a shop.
it was quite shocking though, thinking that today is only the 3rd day of ramadhan yet those people are already in the mood of aidilfitri.
so weird.

and then my ears seemed to attach to the song played and i was kind of involuntarily sang the song, and...i was magically happy.

and here goes some of the lyrics.
"ku mengharapkan ramadhan kali penuh makna, agar dpt ku lalui dgn sempurnaaaaa"
~harapan ramadhan- man bhai n raihan

then i start to think bout the things that i've done in the past ramadhan, celebrated in puncak alam.

it was fun..yet miserable.
i was happy for the fact that i wasnt the only lonely girl celebrating ramadhan far away from my family.
i was happy that i met my crush at bazaar ramadhan almost everyday. (gedik mood!)
i was happy that i get the chance to perform solat terawih with asasian at RSU though it wasnt every single night since i'm not really an istiqamah person.
i was happy to eat with my housemates..fast-breaking, and sahur with them.
overall..i was happy.


and i cried too..quite a lot.

then back to now...today...this ramadhan.
sure..this might be the last ramadhan which i get a chance to celebrate it with my family for the whole month.
so there's just no reason for me to complain anything..
obviously there's no reason to cry.

i'm just so happy.
so blessed..
so inlove..
and i'll make sure i wont be wasting this ramadhan.
may it be full of barakah, full of love and of course..full of meals!

hello blog...
heeee..:)
so..last night i watched diary of a wimpy kid-rodrick rules with my family (yeah i know it's quite late but whatever) and the story was great!


the war between greg and rodrick reminds me of the fight that i had with my 2nd sister.
we rarely meet on the same page and by rarely..i mean RARELY or almost none!
and with that...we've been living as a hardcore enemies for 16 years..or maybe 17.




then she went to arizona for her degree and left me lonely...bored and no partner to quarrel with.
heee..but i know she missed me and my annoying behaviour. i can tell it, haha.


and recently...she's back, while i was finishing my pre-med.
and when i came back from pre med...i had my blood pressure raised up after witnessing how messy our room turned up to.(yes..we share the same room)
she had it upside down..as if the atomic bomb just hit on our room.
it was a REAL mess, trust me!


and that's where we start our big fight (againnn)  after 3 years of separation.
it felt like i was the 12 years old girl again and she was the meanest sister evahhh.


then we decided that one of us should move out and stay at different room.
yeah one of us HAVE TO MOVE.
and it'll definitely wont be her since she has this kind of stone-like heart that required u to die if u want to win over her.
yes..it was that bad!!


so..i moved out to the guest room aka mama's 2nd room aka the creepiest room.
and now here we are..
normal as any other siblings supposed to be.
less quarreling..less stupid fighting.

but to be frank...it's good to have her back.
sometimes i made me realized that it wasnt that bad having a mean sister.
well she's not really mean..but, she's just her - the opposite version of me.


so..what i can say is that watching the fight between greg and rodrick lastnight did somehow opened my eyes about the life that i had with my sister.
sure the fights and the crying that we have all this while were tiring..complicated and useless
but  hey, it was fun!
i mean..who else would want to fight with me for some stupid reasons, pull my hair and made me cry just to overcome her boredom.
who else if it wasnt her?
heee..somehow i kinda love her for that reason.


andddd owhh  yes..i've been very lazy lately for some reason i've yet to figure out.
the room is a mess and i still havnt unpack my stuffs that i had for pre med.
cool huh?
danggg i'll try to clean my room tomorrow's morning.

sometimes..
there're things that u want to tell the world so eagerly.
then u decided not to.

sometimes..
there're things that better left untold.
and u just keep it for yourself
it's better that way.

sometimes..
u wish u've someone who u can tell everything about your life
but then u realise..everbody has their own life
and at the end of the day, u just cant rely on anybody else but u.
so u keep it for yourself, again.

and it's not wrong..at all.
so kawan...
it's better if u didnt tell the whole world about your result, or something u can proud of.
maybe it's a pleasure for u.
but what about others?
maybe u hurt them..maybe u please them.
and maybe..it's better if u just keep it simple.
maybe..

i was dead for the past few days.
my heart, was stabbed over and over again. 
but still working.
my blood, was like a poison running through its system.
poisonous but still beneficial.
i tried not to fall...not to lose.
trying to be the enemy of losing


and the pain.
killed every bit of me.
as if i was a corpse.
a breathing corpse.
and there i was - physically alive, mentally dead.

and now
i'm breathing again.
my heart heals faster than i though it would.
my blood is nutritiously red again.
and i'm alive..again.
thanks hogwarts

what if my expectation is too high?
what if i didnt get what i'm aiming for?
what if...
what if...!!
2 simple words-"what if" , yet the most complicated words i've ever encountered.

who says life's easy...?
it's not, especially when u're the main character of it.

then it came to a day where u realised u have some responsibilities on your shoulder.
and that u've been wasting a lot of time before.
wasting a lot of unnecessary feelings.
involving with some unless things
bla bla bla...
u feel like killing yourself and then u realised a thing...
there's nothing that can change tomorrow's result.
nothing and nothing and nothing.
and so i decided to stay calm, be positive, and leave it all to the Almighty.
then...take a sip of green tea with chocs and maybe some ice cream, and enjoy Grey's Anatomy.
isnt life beautiful?
haaaaaaahh....why is it everything is so beautiful when u're at home?
why??!!
ahh....if only growing up is an option.

dear bloggie,

i just feel like there's just something wrong with me lately...
something i couldnt find out what
something that remains a mystery.
something feels empty.
maybe it's my heart.
well maybe...

but whatever it is..it feels so niceeee to be at home again.
watching tv around the clock...make up my room..
mingling with foods all the time..going out with families
reduce my time with internet so that i wont be over-worried about the upu's result.
oh ya... maybe it's too late! kind of think that i'm already over-worried about it.
shooooot!
what if i got ums? unimas? what if...???!!!
ahh whatever.


and about ramadhan...God please please please give me the strength to finish up my last year's debt.
7days to go and i shall be free from my previous hutang puasa.
ok till then..bye!

my heart...bruises.
my heart..felt empty all of sudden
my heart...cries alone.
my heart...feels the pain.
and this time...it's very painful.

not a single doctor can cure this thing.
not a single word can make it feel lighter.
not just anything.

it's good to see others smiling..laughing and living.
it's good.

and here i am..climbing this mountain all alone.
curing this pain by myself.
suffering it without any help
and i'll make sure i survive.

just a few days left
then i'll become the loveable girl again.
i'll smile with every molecules of my heart
and get myself away from u.
from this pain.
from all that're making me weaker.
i'll runaway.
i promise

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