✿ a cup of love

nothing compares to u

in another 3 days, spm's result shall be unveil

but..i dont know!

i just feel like i dont want to know it yet..

not without my parents by my side

huu..

but wut to do?

if it's about my father's safety and health care that we're arguing about,

then..i'll back off.

but then again..it surely wouldnt be the same without u next to me that historic day..

after all..it was dedicated to both of you

if it's good..i hope u like it

i hope u'd give me a hug for that

and say "thank u" over n over again, like u used to

but if it's bad..

i know u'll be the person to comfort me and say

"it's okay..dont cry. u got a long journey waiting for u"

no matter what it is..

i just want u to be the first person to know it

i just want to see ur reaction.

is it good? is it bad?

but ..i think i was being too emotional now that u wont be there with me on that day.

my sister told me that u've over-spoiled me..and that i'm weak

and i know it's quite true.

i cant stand on my own

i guessed no one understands me right now..

but it's okay!

i always tell u i'm fine with it..i can go alone,

but the truth is..i'm not and i need u.

huu

it wouldnt be d same if it wasnt u who's with me for the event

even if it's my own auntie..but it wasnt u!!

and..i just want u!!!

right now...i just hate thinking of spm

i gave up

i wished i was braver to confront all this

huuu

Labels: countdown to spm

❤ "nothing compares to u" was Posted On: Sunday, March 20, 2011 @9:46 AM | 0 lovely comments ✿

hey watcha doin

hmmm...

i miss my bestfriends..

i miss my girlfriends..

huuu..i want to hug each n every one of them

but i wonder how it feels like to miss a boyfriend,

is it great?

or torturing?

speaking of which, it's not like i can get a boyfriend at this moment

hell no..my parents surely will freak out,

in a negative way obviously

and i remembered my friends said they couldnt imagine me having a boyfriend

well..i couldnt agree more!

i'm curios for it too!

would it be weird..

would it be just typical..

would it be sweet..

arghh..what would it BE??

oh..just let it be!

but there's a person said i was too shy when it comes to boys

well..i think she doesnt know me well yet

hell no..i'm not shy of them,

why would i?

i'm just being careful not to fall in love with them.

or at least with their lies..

especially with handsome guy...surely melts my heart

and there's only one man i trust..it's my dad

yeah..i know i know!

wut a typical sentence for a typical girl

duhh..!

but..is it real that men are the hero when it comes to lying?

i mean..women cheated too!

do men get jealous of nothing?

hmm..women are good in jealousy too

and do men got big fat ego?

well..i do!

so..i chose not to believe wut public said.

it's not always right..but not always wrong

just follow your heart right?

ohhh..

if only i have the power of love...i would

teehee..no!

i mean,

if only i could turn back the time

aqua's song...

If only I could turn back time

If only I had said what I still hide

If only I could turn back time

I would stay for the night. For the night...

i'll stay for the night not making love with someone..hell no!

i'll stay for the night to haha..study!

make sense eyh?

23rd march..please be good to me? will u?

wait a sec, i wonder wut everyone's doing right now..

are they performing solat hajat?

mengaji quran? or make time to repent??

ohhhhhhh God!!

Labels: average joe, bestfriend, countdown to spm, girls stuff

❤ "hey watcha doin" was Posted On: Friday, March 18, 2011 @8:11 PM | 0 lovely comments ✿

back to december

hello..

here i am again tonight!!

posting another entry...huu

getting bored of me??

hwaa..please dont!

coz i'm already bored with myself!

omg..i dont know wut happened to me but,

has anyone else out there ever thinking of commit suicide or..

hmm just anything like that?

well frankly speaking, i have..

i know i know...as a muslim, it's a big sin!

wait no! not only for muslim..

but in any religion..committing suicidal is a big NO

it happened when i was about to take SPM exam last year..

at that moment..there're all sorts of wishes running through my head

they're like

"i wish i'd appreciate the time"

"i wish i have one more month"

"i wish i could survive w/o sleeping"

and lastly...

"i wish i would die"

wait..i just thought of doing it, but done no action to make it happen

urmm..but it sounds crazy right?

and..right now, i'd rather take another SPM than

knowing wut my result will turn up to be, seriously!!

bcoz next week is wayyy scarier from wut i've confronted last year.

hwaaa...i feel like singing Taylor Swift's song-back to december to everyone asking me about spm result..!!

will u people stop asking me that question?

as if it was your business..

as if it is related to you..

as if it was YOURS!

no...i mean,

what if i got a bad result?

what if it'll break my parents' feeling?

will it be a major shame?

will my sisters laugh at me for my idiocy?

will my relatives be talking behind my back?

will people throw their respect on me?

and will my parents say that i took it for granted?

what if i wont be like any of my siblings?

will i be alienated then?

or hwaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...!!!

i just dont want to face the truth

and i'm not even 18 yet..isnt it too young for me to handle it?

this is so unfair..

but that's wut life is...right?

so wut do u expect...

Labels: boring, countdown to spm

❤ "back to december" was Posted On: Thursday, March 17, 2011 @10:16 PM | 0 lovely comments ✿

it takes time to realise

umm..yahh

do i need to explain more?!

i dont have billions of friends

and people said i'm an arrogant girl

well..i think i am too

but i'd rather be an arrogant person than being a gedik girl..

who laughs here and there

skinship with strangers

talks nothing but rubbish

and..

thirst for public attention

isnt that an absolute no doubt eyesore?

well for me, it isss...!!

oh wait..!

i'm sorry, i'm actually bored right now

and..there's something weird hit me these few days

i got some nightmares...huuu

i hardly put my head on d pillow

i want to cry so hard but my tears gland shouting of emptiness

i dont have proper sleeping time anymore

and my eye bags are the last thing u want to see

and wut makes it more painful is...

huuuuuuu

never mind..

it's a personal thing

can i just escape to any waterfalls?

please....!!!

Labels: boring, countdown to spm

❤ "it takes time to realise" was Posted @1:07 PM | 0 lovely comments ✿

your eyes tell just everything

umm...right now there's quite a crowd at my house

and i'm right here, trying to post my entry

quite rude eyh? yeah i know..

but i just dont get along with them well.. (eventhough they're my cousins)

just shake hands..smile..and ummm, what else?? nothing!

i dunno wut to talk about..wut to laugh about or simply just wut to gossip about

they're all late 20's and early 30's..so wut do u expect?

and yes..they're all married couples

and one thing i dislike is that...

their first sight at me which is..that up-and-down staring,

and..weird expression

huaaaaaaa...

i know larr!!

my body is too HOT...too BIG unlike yours yang quite kurus kering

hwaaa...wut to do?

babe..u have to have that type of body for the sake of my cousins right?

after all..this is my body which i'll be carrying all my way

kenapa? dengki eyh??!!

huaaa...i know u takkan pernah dengki pon!

huuuuuuu...

ok laa!

till then..thank u my blog sbb dgr rintihan hati yg lara nih

ilove u my blog!

night night..

umm...8 more days to d' u-know-what day?

ok..i'll just die

bye

Labels: countdown to spm, sadness

❤ "your eyes tell just everything" was Posted On: Tuesday, March 15, 2011 @9:53 PM | 0 lovely comments ✿

focus on the road

day 4

dear blog..

it was my first time driving and fuhhh...

i felt so sorry for my tutor bcoz the car keep stopping almost everytime i'm about to drive.

i know how he felt..definitely very angry about that.

and i as a driver also angry at myself for that!

i didnt mean to keep repeating the same mistakes but wut to do?!

this is my first time..plus, i'm not a genius

and everytime he asked me something personal,

i lost control of the car.

i just cant give my focus on the road when i talked.

and one more thing..i was distracted by the other students to see how well their performances were..

i mean...i dont want to be the worst one!

but by keep doing that..my performance became worse.

good job mimi!

u've never disappoint yourself at putting a scum on your face!

and today's session also make me realised that i'm a short person!!

huuuu...i'm so sad about that.

my tutor asked me to adjust my seat according to my comfort,

he told me to move in front a bit more..

but sadly, there's no more!

so how am i able to move more pok cik?

fortunately i dont need any supporters like seat back cushion coz it was definitely an embarrassment.

maybe my legs elongate itself to help its moron owner..

but thank u my legs coz u're my best support system at this moment..

i need u both to finish off this lesson

so please be good to me

and now it's 4pm.. time for bed!

but oh damn!

that MOMENT OF TRUTH is nearly arriving!

huuuu..

can i not attend to it?

Labels: countdown to spm, driving academy, raining

❤ "focus on the road" was Posted On: Monday, March 14, 2011 @3:28 PM | 0 lovely comments ✿

bored bored bored

my oh my!!

today is sooooo boring!!

i woke up at 6.50am - mandi - dressup - called my driving tutor

but no one answered..hell great!

then..he sms-ed me and cancelled today's session coz kotaraya was flooded with rain water

OH MAN! OH GREAT!! damn it!

it felt as if someone threw a scumbag on my face

i didnt mean to be so mean..but arghhhhhhhhhhh!!!

kenapa baru nk inform??!!

is it so hard to sms me bout that last night?

hwaaa..

but forget about it...

i hate that part!

and now..the whole day

i've been in front of the laptop, logging in my facebook..

and same goes to my blog

but...there's no updates

NOTHING!

ohh wut a great day i got today

i mean..is there any major problems that i missed, (apart from tsunami in Japan)

and so i just listened to some old songs..

played some old games..

watch the same movie..

browsing the same pictures

which is BEYOND BORING!

huuu..

k till then

it's time to pen off since there's absolutely nothing to do

Labels: countdown to spm, mean girl, raining, sadness

❤ "bored bored bored" was Posted On: Sunday, March 13, 2011 @8:23 PM | 0 lovely comments ✿

heebie jeebies

day 1..

GREAT job mimi!

well done..!

it all went well thanks to your dumbness!

i thought there wont be so many people today

but no!

i've to swallow my own words

there were crowds of people

and i've to stretch my ears..keep my eyes open

bcoz i was too CLEVER and chose the very front seat.

hell yeah

it was like....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

i was screaming from the top of my lung..but no one heard it!

so mimi..serves ur right!

the food was yukss..for me

and the drinks caused nausea

okay2..i know i sound like a bitch and etc

but mama~~

i dont want to go back there AGAIN!

no!!!!!!!!!

hwaaa..

no friends..no delicious foods

no pillows..no no no!

not even a handsome guy

huuuu

and now i suffered dizziness..extreme exhaustion and

of course, drowsiness.

now STUDY mimi..!

huurghh!

Labels: countdown to spm, driving academy

❤ "heebie jeebies" was Posted On: Friday, March 4, 2011 @8:47 PM | 0 lovely comments ✿

yes..no..urmm

hello thursday..

yup, another boring day!

then tomorrow shall be friday..

which i've to wake up early in the morning,

go to Kotaraya bla bla bla

and my parents shall seal their mouths and stop nagging on me.

but u know what?

i dont hate it when they nag, bcoz i know..one day, i'll miss those moments

soon, my parents would stop nagging on me

coz they realised i'm a big girl already

and i can handle everything on my own. (which i'm afraid i cant)

and yesterday..oh yesterday

i dont like yesterday!

both of my parents are under the weather

the house seemed gloomy...

no fun..and no laughters

and thank God, today they're already in pink!

ohh..

my cousin will held his wedding solemnization soon

and..i cant wait for it!

my mom said his wife is pretty!

ma..

when it's my time to tie the knot,

can i wear something like flower on the head instead of tiara?

heee..i was enchanted by it!

i dont know what it is called..but i love it!

and..

i shall spend a fortune for a vera wang wedding dress..

hey..it's a once in a lifetime event

so..this is the best time to spend those pennies.

isnt it right?

humm..

ok till then,

i've something to catch up on tv!

oh god..is it really 23rd of march, spm's results?

coz if it is..then fuhhh, i still got time to enjoy my life!

Labels: average joe, countdown to spm

❤ "yes..no..urmm" was Posted On: Thursday, March 3, 2011 @1:55 PM | 0 lovely comments ✿

yaw..yaw..yaw

Knock Knock
Who's there !
A Door !
A Door who ?
A-Dore-Able Me!

heee...i'm so bored

there's nothing fun to do..

but just now, i accidently found HER blog and read almost every single details on that blog.

and i was like.."oooh, she got a blog!" and then,

"what? she got what?!!, but she's only 18, isnt it too early for an 18 year old teen to get ummm, engaged?"

oh never mind..it's none of my business anyway!

plus..i also dont really like her, not that she had harmed me, but i just dont like her.

humm ok...lets not talk about her.

she's a strangers, and what do u expect?

so..back to my problem please!

i know i gained a few kilos...

ok fine! i gained a lot! and people around me are trying to tell me bout that in a hazy way!

for example..my mother asked me, "mimi xgi main badminton ko? "

and..my mother's friend was like "mimi pkai baju saiz berape?"

why cant u just be honest?

after all, isnt honesty is the best policy?!

okay..mama, i'll try to get back to badminton, just wait for it lah, okay?

and..what size am i wearing?

it's s/m but i can still fit xs in certain brands but i also got L

wanna know why? coz most of the fats went to my lower parts of body!

and i dont care if people were like " is that a balloons in your pants?" or

"are you wearing any inner pants or what?"

or maybe..yg kes xs tu sbb it was the last piece and the shirt is dangerously cute so i cant helped it.

but seriously, my lower parts of body is the last thing u wanna see!

sangat2 gemuk! huh!

and one more thing that i just figured out is that..

in most of my latest pictures, the double chin seems to be obviously apparent!

hmm..maybe it isnt so obvious yet?

ahh..whatever it is, i HAVE to diet.

tpi mcm mane nk fokus dgn diet?

and the last thing for tonight is that..

OMG..breast cancer.

wut could've been worst than that.

no..i mean, i dont have the guts to face it if i were to have it.

for those women who bravely face it, u guys are definitely the superwomen!

ya Allah..i really really hope that i'll get a chance to live a long, happy live w/o any worrie

but after i saw this picture..

i realised something..

we must be grateful with what we have now..

no need to complain about anything that God gave to us.

after all, beauty is skin deep

and we have to remember one thing,

average women would rather have beauty than brains,

because average man can see better than he can think.

and i myself, definitely dont want to end up as just an average woman!

Labels: countdown to spm

❤ "yaw..yaw..yaw" was Posted On: Sunday, February 27, 2011 @1:56 AM | 0 lovely comments ✿

ya Allah..it's frightening me

dear blog..

i know..i know!

it has been a week since i last posted an entry kan?

i'm sorry! it's my bad

well...not that i've fully abandoned u, not at all!

it's just that...i NEED my moment.

i need peace...i need calm

that's just what i want..to deliberate everything.

or specifically, SPM!

now..i just came back from a bookstore

before stepping into the shop, i had challenged myself..

"mimi..dont go to spm's corner coz u'll suffer even more!"

and while picking up some books for my sister..

(okay..she also prefers last minutes study, like me!)

i noticed somebody was spying on me...or maybe he was staring at books,

and aku je yg prasan.

but..hell man! let's just ignored the uncomfortableness

back to my story..

and then...i just cant help it!!

my heart keep pushing me to go to the spm's corner

well..u know wut they said.."just follow ur heart"

and so..i did!

i grabbed the past year's question - biology.

okay i know..i'm very bad at making decision..haha!

i should just picked BM or Maths..so that the pain wouldnt be too much.

and so..i scrutinized the answers..paper 3!

ahha..ahha..ahha..!

wait..i barely remember what i wrote in the exam!

then..i memorized the objective answers, and they're all gone now.

but HE!! (the one mentioned before) still got eyes on me..

urghhhhhhhhhhh!

damn it! i hate..hate..hate being stared. (klu handsome, no problem je)

and so i left.. dashed to the counter.

but right now..i'm in remorse + anxious.

ya Allah..will the straight A's slip be mine?

coz that's all i need right now.

i know..tiada urusan di dunia yang mudah melainkan Engkau permudahkannya.

Labels: countdown to spm, sorry

❤ "ya Allah..it's frightening me" was Posted On: Friday, February 25, 2011 @8:17 PM | 0 lovely comments ✿

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