I like it when it rains.
And the cold winds sneak into my bedroom through the windows that're wide opened.
I'll be laying down on my bed thinking of what i'm gonna do.
Will it be reading a novel,  or enjoying my cup of hot choc, or taking a power nap or maaaybe... just doing nothing.
It's my most fav weather of the day...excuse me if i'm being too greedy.
But i like the latter part the most.
Instead...here i am updating my blog,....just because.
Man...i've got a class at 3pm, sheeshh... wish i could stay like this a lil longer.
Thanks for today, friday...

I have a weak heart.
Well not in terms of the function, mine beats at a normal rate and rhythm every minute n  everyday.
So theoretically, it's in a great condition.
What i mean is....it sucks when it comes to.....u know, feelings and emotions, and imaan and enduring all the bad things around me.
Well yes it's normal to have to battle these things, everyone experience it everyday.
And to fight with our own feelings, thats a huge responsibility!
And i can really relate myself with it especially now considering that i'm battling with my own feelings and God, do i wish i could just throw away all these things that're haunting me these past few days.
As much as i want to pretend that my heart is frozen, but come on...being human, thats an impossible thing to do.
So i guess i'll just have to keep battling with it, making sure i wont lose to it.
Is this what people called growing up?
Coz it sucks..

It's friday..
I should just enjoy myself for the weekend instead of being overthinking and what not.

So today i went to the Down Syndrome Centre located at Ampang for our field visit programme.
I was actually quite clueless of what was going to happen and what was i supposed to do there considering that i've never encountered these special kids, ever in my life.
There as actually quite a few things haunting my mind.
What re their reaction towards an outsider?
Will they cry if i touch them?
Will it hurt them?
Etc etc...



But as i entered the house ( or more like a nursery) those kids rushed towards us to salam salam and smile to us and what not
OMG how adorable...my heart just melt away.
I never knew they can be soooo welcoming, and so cute yet... superrrrrr clingy. Hahaha..trust me on this.
There was this 5 years old girl wearing a napkin, sitting on the couch all alone and i had my heart cried a little looking at her. So i decided to rubbed her back softly and ask her if there was anything wrong or something i could help.
Then suddenly without any words, she hugged me too tight my headscarf was off from its original place.
Haihh..
And then she became superrrrr clingy with me, she even painted a new pattern on my scarf with her saliva while she was hugging me.
HAHA...i smiled to her anyway. It was my favourite scarf, and now not anymore!
Nevertheless...they're all superrrr cute and smart too, i learnt quite a few from them.
I even had a crush on Mohammad, aged 4 who's veeerry cute and clingy and even hugged me and kissed me on the cheek.
How cute is thattttt??!!





And what i can comment on this visit is that...i freaking love it!!
Ok next up would be the adolescent house..i'm up for it!

So last friday was the first time i entered the labour room.
Oh second time to be exact...the first was during the pre med session back in the good old days.
Ok whatever.. who cares anyway!

Well the thing was..last friday was hellaa hectic for me, there were lectures + seminars + meet up with the dietitian + discussions and waitt...later that evening my housemate asked me to join her to the labour room since she has got no one to go with her.
And u cant simply say no to it, dont you?
Well i know i dont.
Plus i've been wanting to witness the delivery session long longgg time ago so what else is there for u to refuse...right?

So after ingesting 2 cups of coffee and had my eyes wide opened, my bradycardic heart turned tachycardic and my brain was fully alert...i entered the labour room.
Well something happened before that...but i shouldnt write it here, it's called dr-patient confidentiallity.
So lets just proceed...

The waiting time was quite devastating.
What else would u expect from a patient with a 3cm cervical opening right?
So nak tak nak...u gotta open the videos or songs or books or just anything.
Anything to waste the time.
But i hate the waiting part anyway...nothing seems to comfort me at that time.

So to cut a long story short...lets move on to the delivery session.
The pain...the screaming part...and the oh-my-God just get the baby out quickly was reaaaaallly...how to say this, very miserable yet very fascinating.
Gosh what a warrior these women are.

Well what i really wanted to write was..
The labour is not really a birth for the child and the mother...rather, i think i was actually being re-borned again, u get what  i mean? It's a bit exagerrating but thats the truth so yeah..
I was like...gosh, suddenly i felt like hugging my mother..or call her to say i love her or promise her to obey every single thing she asks me to do but hey...it was 3am at that time, so what do u expect from a mother who sleeps at 10pm ha?
Yaaaa...so thats about it.
I miss her...so soo much.
Gosh..lagi 3 minggu balik!

While my hardworking-genius-know it all-top scorer friend is already at the college, studying...revising...memorizing and what not ( which reflects what a medical student should reaaaally be)
And me??!
Yeah i'm up all night browsing the catalogs...googling for some shoes that i'm gonna wear at the hospital and waiting for a reply from a store owner regarding the soon-to-be-mine shoes.
Greaaaaattt aint it?

Regret? Naaahh...told ya i'm gonna enjoy every bits of my break, and i'm a girl with my words.
Tak baik mungkar janji tau!

Back to shoes..
Oh my God....dear u.....
Stop being so damn sexayyyhhhhh will ya?!!
Wallet jom nangis together gether...uwaaaa!

Hey there sunday!!

It's gooooood to be home again.
I really miss surfing the internet coz ya knowww...the wifi at the residential college where i'm staying at was like reaaaaaally slow i feel like banging my head on the wall every night.
And.i'm.not.kidding...!!

So yeahh...for my 9 days of break i vow to maximize my quality time with my family andddddd (very importantly) to take care of my sunburned skin and get em back to their original tone!
Gotta put extra work on it..sape suruh mandi pantai lama sangat!

So...last friday was the day where i finished my rural posting.
I learned bout the statistics..report writting and those spss thing that literally killed every particles in my brain..and lotsa awesome things that i'm too lazy to write about.
Hence i'm just gonna upload some pictures of it for my future reading when i get older *that sounds superrr cliche...*







So yeah next up will be the urban posting, lets just hope i'll be having great time too during that posting before i'll be transferred to hospital for all those deadly postings that're ready to shoot me out.
Ok...my bed is calling me, i shouldnt be late for it!!
Ahhhh...soooo gooood to be home!

Damn it.
I always find myself expressionless everytime people come n cry to me.
Shit shit shit..
I  could do better.
I should at least give her a hug..
But i dont.
And i dont know why..
My god mimi!
Seriously...change yourself!

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