it's the weekend...finally!
means..it's the end of week one, 4 more weeks to go!

this morning when i woke up..i realised my roommate was studying like crazy and i...was hugging my pillow and reluctant to get away from the bed.

my room is too hot that i  sleep on the floor every night.

then when the guilty feeling attacked myself...i decided to take my bath first coz i think it would be a great idea to study when you're fresh and u smell so good.
after showering...i realised there's nobody washing their clothes so i decided to do my laundry until the clock struck 10am.
and when i had myself finally sitting at the studying table...i found my eyes glued to the outside world.
this is super crazy!


and then my hunger feeling came to me...so i took my breakfast. (and my roommate is still studying)
after that i hanged up the clothes and took few minutes on my bed coz i've learnt that  we should rest for few minutes after a long stand up to normalize our blood pressure.. (owh this is just another excuse...)
ok whatever..

then i went to belek belek those books and pretend to be busy..but it feels so weird to pretend it coz i was yawning like crazy.
so i went to the cafe buying my lunch at 11 something...and it might be pretty early. so whatever..

after i've eaten those food i decided to go online to boost up my focus level. (but please dont try this at home)
and now here i am..blogging about things that i've done today and STILL havent touch those creepy books...

oh my god....when?? why??? how??? will i be so rajin like everyone else?

see?!! my notes are neat and clean...obviously, i havent study them yet. oh God!

Labels: pre med

i'm bored..
i'm scared..
i want to cry..
i'm still hoping..and i  wont stop.

even if i wasnt listed..i wont be mad.
i already got what i want.
but...another 4-flat girl didnt called out by the faculty.
will i be in the same situation as hers?

i've tried my best.
i already got what i want.
but...this time, it's about luck.
how i wish i'm the lucky one..

i'm powerless...but all i have now is Doa.
i'm curious...so pathethic, i know.
truth is..i'm the curious girl but i'm coward.
i've decided not to call them..
wouldnt it be...lack of patience maybe?

the hell mannn...
hermmm...out of the 160 students chosen by them..can i please be one of them?
can i?
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......i wish the answer is yes.
i want it...so badly!!

it's my lifetime dream..
 please make me smile..please?

Labels: pre med

i want to grab the phone..press the number and call the faculty.
but my hands are numb..as if they were paralysed.
i got my mouth trembling and my larynx unable to function like usual.
my knees turned to jelly and i'm sweating like a pig.

what if i'm not the chosen one?
what if..?
will i accept the fact?
am i tough enough?
what if..?
because i didnt put uitm as my first choice.
because i chose UM to be at the top of the list
because i dont know which to choose.

i'm not tough..
i dont have the guts to call and ask them
i need my mama to be beside me..to tell me what to do.
to speak to them if i'm too scared to ask.
i find myself very dependable on her..
and it's not healthy at all!

maybe i should wait.
wait for their call..
or maybe wait for mama to come home.
yeah maybe i should.
after all..i always be the girl who waits.

Labels: pre med

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