Errrr do all people get weird when they're in love??
Posting those nauseous things on their facebook wall n try to make me sick of em....?
Oh God...i swear imma throw up if these people keep acting lke this.
So obnoxious, not kidding yuhhhh.

Im afraid i might fail the final.
Never thought about it before but somehow....when everybody is talking about this so called hot topic of the week-about who are the 14 students that failed in the final, somehow...im afraid i might be one of them.

What if...i feel like im safe enough to pass the exam but for some reasons...maybe God wants to test me.
What if....i felt confident with my answers but somehow i did some careless mistakes during the exam.
What if....i really did bad in the exam but i feel like i did it okay.
What if..i really really failed my 1st semester.


Oh God..
This is like a very big issue since our money wont be banked in if we failed the exam.
And jpa wont tolerate with us anymore.
Burdening my parents is never in my list.

Ya Allah...takutnyaaaa.
And the result will be released by the end of this week and it's only monday but my legs are already turned to jelly.

Because i'm not the kind of girl who would say hi to u even if i want to
And i feel really weird walking with boys after class..

Because i'm not the outspoken person which is the reason why my sister told me to speak more in public.
Because the butterflies wont leave my stomach.
And because i'm full of insecurities.

Because i've never really had my first love before
And because i'm just being too careful trying not to take the wrong step.

Because i love perfection though it hardly exist.

And most probably because i feel comfortable being this way.
And because my parents told me to focus on my future and just that only.

Because it's friday and tomorrow is saturday which is why i'm going out eventhough my scholarship still havent been bank in yet and i sorta pokai sudah.

Because i hate being the exco kolej coz i dont know why she picked me.
Is it because i'm her friend or because i'll just be her shadow.
I'm not sure buti think imma go with the first one necause shes my friend and shes neen nice so far.

and lastly because i dont feel like studying though it's already the 1st week of  cardiovascular module and i shpuld be working my butt off by now but hmphhhhh for some reason..
I think im just gonna pampered myself.
Let my cardio take a normal work.
Let my brain get just a bit of relaxation.
And simply let the laziness rule this body for a while.
Tak salah pon.


And dear blog...
Bye and yeahhh thats all for today.
I felt relieved.

My dear body,
When life is hard....just bear with it.
Be positive and never look back.
Ok maybe u can look back...but not all the time.
Be tough girl.
Be tough.
Something great is waiting ahead of u.
Wait for it...be excited,
Anddddd....
Just live your life.

We cant always choose our circumstances, but we can choose our attitudes towards them.

miss home so badly.
miss my family...my room..and everything in home.

it got worst. my feeling.
it was different compared to palam.
sg buloh is....different.

everybody is stressed out.
everybody has their mood swing.
they laugh..they talk too much and they cried.
and pretend that nothing happened.

i was used to this awkward life before.
i was tough.
i dont mind before.

but after 2 weeks of spending my holiday at home..
and having to come back here in a place i can call as hell..
it was harsh to me.

i'm fragile. all of us are.
we're missing our home.
we're having a test next week. and we dont really care.
i'm struggling with this new module.
i want an A.
or maybe an Adist.
haihhh..


but here's a funny thing happened today.
my favourite lecturer-dr chua ang lim- is definitely a  funny man.
we have some super junior guys in our microbiology lecture yoww..
yeah how cool is that...
or not.

Dear brain, please  keep all these sweet memories in mind.
Dear heart, please enjoy the last night.
Dear spine, feel the comfort of your beloved bed.
Dear stomach, get ready for the same menu waiting in sg buloh.
 Dear body, be tough. Be prepare for the new semester.
Dear eyes, close yourself..and sleep.
Goodbye, goodnight.
Nak cuti lagiiiiih.
 Huuuhh

Home.
where my body feels extremely lazy.
Where i feel like i'm forever a kid.
Where my heart  feels alive.

It feels right to wake up  in the afternoon every day.
It feels unguilty to feed my stomach beyond its capacityit feels everything right.
Aand i dont  want to be far from it.
But it aint gonna happen.

Dear self, please  enjoy every second of your holiday.
It's about to end, very soon.
And yes...i hate it.

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