✿ a cup of love

dear me..

dear older self,

today is one of those days that i want u to remember ( in case u forgot about it..)

pagi tadi pegi hospital clerk patients and at the same time cari kes menarik for the case write up which should be submitted this friday, hand written.

oh yeah..and my supervisor?

mestilaa the so-called voldemort of which the one who made me cry in the car, at the parking lot, inside the toilet, on the bed etc etc.

his words...cause your heart to be ischemic, your brain to be hypoxic sikit lagi nk brain death.

tapi deep down, hati dia baik sebenarnya.

coz he care for his students. and i assumed he's allergic to stupidity, which is my middle name since i entered orthopedic posting.

everytime i heard he called my name..i literally had a cardiac arrest.

can u just imagine how many times i should get a cpr?

sape suroh kau bgitau nama "mimi"..next time when people asked ur name..tell "nurul syamimi" okaayy...so they wont remember u..

kan dah phobia..rase nak nangis je.

tapi takpe. awal awal memang cenggitu kan?

just dont give up yet, or ever.

like he said to me (despite being bipolar + sarcastic + the look of his eye macam nk telan hidup hidup), "it's all about how safe u are by the time u get into the real world"

betullah tu, i should really stop being stupid, and lazy and clueless and whatever the bad things are.

eh ok dah terbabas from the real topic.

lets just continue today's event..

okaayy..so i went to the hospital..clerk a few patients, followed the morning rounds and when the clock strike 1pm..the visitors were attacking the ward..my back sore...

i took my bag and called it a day.

well not really..i should get smthing to eat first..

so i drove my car to the nasi kukus stall since i feel like having one today..

bought the lunch..walked back to the car..start the engine..and ready to hit the road..

looked into the mirror...the last lane was cleared, it should be safe now..

well not really....

the moment my car was a third on the road...there was this mercedes car bawak laju gila nk mampus and sikiiiiiittt lagi..i mean like sikittttt lagi nk kne my car. can u just imagine how "sikiiiiiit je lagi" that i'm describing?

okay..

it's not funny at all..my heart stopped beating, my eyeballs literally fell off from its sockets,my hands were trembling...and i, i was stupor.

this.shall.never.happened .again. okay?

coz it sucked...and i dont like this kind of adrenaline surge.

even the pedestrian stopped for a moment and was ready to prepare her ears for an upcoming deathly sound that shall injure the tymphanic membrane of hers
well okay maybe this is too much of exaggeration tapi it really wassss a nightmare ...!

i even had my frontal veins buldging out right now jusst thinking of how horrible it was.

so i just calmed myself down..
tak kena kan tadi?
nothing happened right?
no deathly sound?
my car is alright isnt it?

i mean..

besar kan kuasa Allah?

if He wants the accident happened tadi,,,well it could and it would have

tapi if He cakap, "lets not get her into an accident.."

and time nk kluar tu tetiba pulak kereta rase berat i thought i wasnt pushing the pedal hard enough ke apa..

tapi tu laa..thats how great His power is kann

and i just cant stop thinking about it.

even tgh makan tadi pon..i thought to myself

well u could've been arguing in the middle of the road right now

or you could be crying sebelah kereta you yang well..maybe hancur because the other car was driving insanely fast.

or he could have a gun..who knows kan? worst case scenario..he could just shoot u down ( i'm not being overthinking kaaann? or am i? oh whatevs...i saw an autopsy of a robber who owned a gun kottt 2 months ago...kat blkg templer tu je..)

and many many maaaany things lagi my hectic mind pikir..maas nak tulis pjg2 ( is this not panjang enoughh..)

tapi..here u are

tgh enjoy your nasik kukus

siap boleh take a nap lagi lepas tu

siap blh tulis case write up lagi
siap dengar lagu.,,pegi beli labcoat..beli kopi..

and do all of your task like nothing happened kan

mashaAllah..

i'm still in a denial state..

tapi tu laa...i just hope that i wont take this for granted

that i have to always and always and always jaga my relationship with Him

Dia uji sikit je..tapi nikmat tu...no words can describe it.

i dont know what i've done to be blessed such this way.

Alhamdulillah for today dear Allah..

❤ "dear me.." was Posted On: Tuesday, March 29, 2016 @11:05 PM | 0 lovely comments ✿

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