mimi tahan sikit lagi
yes perit.. but u just gotta be tougher
semua ni...all of this pain
are for them

sbb they would sacrifice anything for u
so ape salahnya u sacrifice a bit for them
u can do this
i know u always can

sikit je lagi
tahan
oh Allah..ease my journey for tomorrow

dear self
it's 2 in the morning
and here i am..
inside this room of mine
that's filled with nothing but silence

i'm back again  to this room of mine
with the aim to start studying for my end of posting exam
but all i ever did was just fooling myself around
and i hated it...more than anything

it always feels good to be back in home again
the foods
the internet
the love
the tv shows
all of it..i love it.

but..
dear self
lets be serious
lets start studying now
u've been playing too much, too hard
yet u studied too little
u crave for an excellent result
and thats a bulsht with this amt of effort u put on

lets be serious..

dear self,
professional exam is just around the corner
only 109 days left
may seems so long for some, yet so short for me
it's like having a knife ready to slice down my throat
or a gun at the temporal lobe of mine

i know i gotta be strong, and healthy and well prepared for this war
but all i'm afford to feel rite now are
- major exahustion
- major depression
- major regret
and all of other "major" stuffs
it's about 3am now
and i'm nowhere near to sleep
oh Allah..remind me again as to why i chose this road or as to why You put me into this.
whatever it is, i believe that Your plan is the greatest plan of all
and with that..hopefully this heart shall remain calm, this brain shall not go haywired and this body shall tolerate with all the pain, mentally and physically.

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