dear syamimi,
do know that..
orthopedic exam will be in less than 10 days
u'll have a short case with your so-called voldemort supervisor.
and also osce after that
yet here u are
still watching random utube videos
still shopping here n there
still sleeping soundly on the bed
still laughing at things arent even funny
still having your case write up pending
still...still havent studied
please wake up
seriously..just wake up already my dear

being in orthopedic posting so far has taught me quite lots of things.
first, u gotta have a stone heart.
well not really a stony heart, rather an unbreakable heart coz mannn..the lecturers' words gonna cut you, torn u apart into pieces. ( read: i drove back to college from the hospital with teary eyes)
they called u this, they called u that.
and me being the kind of girl who likes to answer questions or ask ( well sometimes i asked basic questions such as wound healing * to the wrong dr* so memang  digging my own grave lah jawabnya)
but it's alright i guess..
when he said " i can be kind to u, i can use good words talking to u..but my lecturers during my medschool days were so harsh to me that i still remember things he said"
well i couldnt agree more. ask me questions bout osteoarthritis, inshaAllah i can answer u since i was scolded damn teruk that day in the clinic that i still remember every single thing he told me. every.single.thing.
so i guess my job now is to train my heart hard enough so i could brace myself for the exam since the lecturer who scolded me happened to be my....yes, supervisor (read: my examiner)

second thing i learnt : know your basics well
i mean yeah..things that we've learnt during the 1st and 2nd year, those physiology, anatomy and what not..yerpp those things were to be asked during the bedsides..seminars..and worse, end of posting exam and even worse, professional exam.
so yeah..buckle up and lets travel to three years back.

third thing is : i fell in love with it.
i dont know how and why and what on earth but believe me, i started to fall in love with orthopedic ( but how bout neuro?!) but it's fun lehhh, really. except for the fracture part and all the God knows what classifications..i love learning orthopedics and i found myself more rajin i guess? spending time in the ward..well thats a good thing kot since it's almost the end of year 4 dah oh.my.Lord!

fourth thing is : know yourself in and out
the lecturers in ortho (during bedsides) always..always left me thinking to myself what do i want in life? what do i really want. do i really want to help these people. am i really willing to sacrifice my youth helping people i barely know, only their history and current complaints. being a youth, being someone who needs to sacrifice sleeps and sometimes the weekends..i really think it's crucial to betulkan niat kita every week if not everyday. u just gotta have a good heart to do this noble job and do i see myself qualified for this? well the answer is, i never know, but i just gotta werrkk werkk werrk hard to get to this stage. passion on its own, wont guarantee u being a good doctor. with a help of good heart, good knowledge and all the good stuffs..inshaAllah everything will run smoothly..amin!

fifth thing is..okay i get tired alrdy.
takpelaa smpai sini je.
exam lagi 2 minggu.
mimi please wake up.
okay?!
Dr slalu torture my mental by saying " it's your first and last posting, please learn hard. pro exam wont be easy u know"
okaayy..okayyy adrenaline surge coming right upp

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